Quality Time During Quarantine

It’s Day 1000 of coronavirus social distancing, or so it seems. Most of us are working from home, jobless at home, or at the very least spending every evening and weekend cooped up at home. As a result, we’re spending an excessive amount of time with our partners, families, or roommates. And if your situation is anything like mine, not all that time is high quality.

Sitting next to my fiancé while both of us stare at the TV screen is not bringing us closer together. Getting annoyed with him for being on his phone while I think we should be paying attention to each other does not help the relationship either! With what seems like all the time in the world, why does it seem like we’re not having any quality time together?

I’m here to share some of the things I did to get more quality time together (and reframe the rest of the lesser-quality time). It takes some intention, communication, and honesty, but we can do it! Let’s come out of this quarantine with an even stronger relationship. You with me?

What is quality time?

The Google definition of quality time is: “time spent in giving another person one’s undivided attention in order to strengthen a relationship.” To me, this means no phones, doing something together or having attentive conversation. It’s how I receive love best, aka my love language. If you’re not familiar with Five Love Languages by Gary Chapman, the idea is that there are five ways people give and receive love: physical touch, gifts, words of affirmation, acts of service, and quality time. I highly recommend you check it out to figure out yours – and encourage your partner to do so, too! You can also take a quiz on 5lovelanguages.com.

Quality Time During Quarantine

Here are a few simple things you can do to set yourself up for plenty of quality time during these days of social distancing.

Set aside blocks of time

The first step is understanding that not all the time you spend together is going to be quality. It’s okay to zone out at screens next to each other for a few hours or distractedly eat dinner while quietly acknowledging each other! The key is to set aside certain times where you will pay full attention to each other – no phones or distractions. This could be a weekly date night, nightly dinner, talking about your days before going to sleep, or having coffee/breakfast together in the morning. Many of the activities I listed in my 33 Things to Do at Home During Coronavirus Self-Quarantine post can be done together! Declare it as quality time and even a few moments here and there can make a big difference.

Communicate what you want and need

I specifically used the word declare just now because you need to do just that – tell your partner or friend your intentions with time together! Some people just want a companion to watch Netflix with (which is totally fine). They won’t understand what you want unless you communicate. Something like, “I feel love from you when you put your phone away and we cook together,” or “I need some quality time together where we really take the time to catch up with how we’re doing – can we Skype for an hour this week?” clearly communicates that you want to pay attention to each other and aren’t just looking to pass the time with someone next to you.

Spend time alone or apart

Part of the problem is excess time together. Spend some apart! Go on a walk or drive alone, read (or scroll Instagram) in a different room, or have a Zoom happy hour with friends without him. Then when you come back together, there will be new conversation topics and the time feels special again.

Remember there are other love languages

While quality time together is important for all relationships, it’s important to remember that it’s not how everyone feels or expresses love! Your partner, family member, or friend may be showing their love without you realizing it. Show them you love them in their language, too.

I hope these tips help you create quality time with your loved ones during these crazy days. Happy quarantining!

What’s your love language?

How about your significant other’s? Do you have any more advice for us? I’d love to hear from you in the comments below!