We’re Postponing Our Wedding Due to COVID-19

I had been holding on to hope that our September 2020 wedding would still happen as planned. The bridal shower in July or Bachelorette Party in KC in August? Maybe not. But I really thought the end of September would be far enough away to avoid coronavirus cancelation. I was hopeful right up until my family had the difficult conversation this Sunday about how uncomfortable everyone would be and what we’d miss out on leading up to the big day.

Across the US, states and areas have opened at different rates. Michigan restaurants opened only this week at low capacities. Masks are still required inside in public. Out-of-state travel is banned by many employers. Everyone talks about reopening in phases, but weddings are some of the last priorities. Even three months into this, the future is so unknown.

Additionally, the pandemic brings new social challenges. How do we communicate that we won’t be offended if someone doesn’t feel comfortable coming? Guests thinking, “Oh I really don’t want to miss Megan & Hugh’s wedding, we need to just chance it.” What if someone gets COVID in the weeks following the event? Gathering 100 loved ones brings unnecessary risks to our favorite people’s health. On top of that, worrying about the comfort levels of all the guests would unfairly fall on my family and take away from our shared experience.

So we made the decision to postpone the big wedding weekend.

What to Do When Postponing Your Wedding Due to COVID

There are tons of resources out on the internet for postponing, especially as millions of brides make the decision amid this pandemic. Here are the three key things I did.

Grieve the original plan, then start the new one.

I was really sad and upset after that conversation on Sunday. I had truly been hopeful we’d proceed as planned. I also felt guilty being so sad about something that we’re so privileged to have! The big celebration is moved (not canceled), our loved ones are healthy, and we are able to make the decision months in advance. It was really hard to be okay with being sad.

After a lot of stress-cleaning on Monday, I decided to change my mindset. We knew we were still getting married on our original date no matter what, so I started researching what that could look like. I quickly saw some more positives in the new plan. Close family can still come celebrate with us that weekend. We can move up our timeline to buy a house. I get to plan a mini wedding with more flexibility AND next year’s big celebration.

Work with your vendors.

We chose a venue that comes with most of the vendors in a package. This made selecting a new date for 2021 very straight-forward. The venue management is being really flexible and accommodating (thank goodness). We got 8 dates from them and chose 3 to ask our photographer about. That narrowed it down to a September date! All this happened in two days. If it hadn’t worked out so well or we had more dis-jointed vendors, we would have prioritized based on deposits we couldn’t get back and difficulty to find a replacement we love. We also quickly reached out to move our hotel room block.

Share the change in plans with guests ASAP.

I updated our wedding website, drafted a post for social media, and found Change the Date cards (the new trend of 2020) before the decision was even finalized. Since the majority of our guests will travel from out of state, we needed to make sure everyone knew about the postponement as soon as we did. My mom also emailed our family members and we texted our wedding party. I added a “COVID” page to the wedding website to share the announcement and precautions going forward.

I hope these tips help you if you’re also making this terribly difficult decision about your wedding this year. Know that having the decision made feels so much better than wondering what the next few months will bring. There’s still a lot to figure out, but I’m now excited about the two wedding weekends! And, most importantly, starting the next chapter of life together with Hugh.